


Secrets

by pikkugen



Category: Study Series - Maria V. Snyder
Genre: F/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-09
Updated: 2014-12-09
Packaged: 2018-02-28 19:32:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2744429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pikkugen/pseuds/pikkugen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Valek ponders on something he never told Yelena about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secrets

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Oayth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oayth/gifts).



> Thanks to gentlezombie for beta! 
> 
> (I'm not sorry for my headcanon considering two of my favourite characters here. You can ignore it if you wish, I just had to slip it in.)

Curiosity killed the cat, they say, but I'm not dead yet. And neither is Yelena, to my wonder.

My curiosity caused me to take interest in her case. She had been found with a bloody knife atop a dead body, the body of a son of a General no less, so of course I put her execution order to the bottom of the pile. It would be only a question of time before the current food taster for the Commander would die and I could bring Yelena in for investigation. If I found a valid reason not to have her killed immediately, I would have ample time to find out her reasons.

I had had my attention on both the dead young man, Reyad, and his father, General Brazell. Both seemed somewhat... skeevy. There were nasty rumours going on about Reyad. His father seemed like a regular old soldier, he had even put up an orphanage and a school for the children of his District, but still there was something about him that put me on the edge. He was too ambitious. Thus I wasn't too surprised at the murder of young Reyad at the hands of one of his father's orphans, but I wanted to get to the bottom of this, so I kept the young offender in the Commander's dungeons until Oscove had outlived his utility.

It was somewhat shocking to actually see how small and weak-looking she was; of course she had been in the Commander's dungeon for nearly a year, but I couldn't believe someone as frail-looking as she could actually have killed someone like Reyad. And when she openly confessed to killing him but offered no reason I definitely became curious. So I decided to spare her life, for as long as it was possible.

Naturally I had to teach her about poisons. To my relief, she was a quick study. As to lying to her about the Butterfly's Dust and giving her daily doses of White Fright instead... Well, there is a perverse justice in keeping criminals in a prison of their own making, but I half expected her to find out the truth on her own. There was something in her, more than just cleverness, a survival instinct and unbelievable luck.

I could see Margg hated her from the start. She always did. It was her way of dealing with the tasters being so transitory. None of the tasters I'd trained had survived for more than a couple of years. Some got careless, some tried to escape, some... I admit I had to get rid of them. An unreliable taster causes me more trouble than training a new one. And if there's something I don't accept, it's a risk to Commander Ambrose. He has done more for this land – and me – than anyone ever gives him credit for. His vision has come true in ways I couldn't fathom at the beginning, when he gained my loyalty... But I digress. Margg was incredibly loyal to both me and Commander Ambrose, and that's why it took me so long to actually believe Yelena when she told me otherwise.

Besides, she was wrong. But only the first time.

The first time was when she believed Margg was selling information to the so-called Captain Star. The real culprit was Rand the cook, and unfortunately he was Yelena's friend. I hadn't realized how much it would hurt her to see him exposed like that as a traitor, but it couldn't be helped. During the aftermath... seeing her suffer almost made me regret my decision to separate her from her friend, but it was necessary. Rand wasn't good for her. Of course there were more personal reasons, which I couldn't admit even to myself at the time, but as I assured myself, it was necessary.

After that, I found I talked to her more often. She was still living in my suite because of the incident with General Brazell, and I had no intention of letting her go. She was good company, better than Margg, and sometimes we discussed poisons and tactics and anything at all late into the night. I think I trusted her already without any other reason than her personality. I approved of her practicing her fighting skills with Ari and Janco – the lads were excellent fighters, good teachers and, most importantly, an old couple. Had they but asked permission to marry, they'd gladly have had it. During their time in the Commander's garrison I'd kept an eye on them, and I hoped one day to promote them to my seconds-in-command.

All in all, I wanted her under my eyes, and not only because the palace was again crawling with soldiers and Brazell's men were after her. She had rare insights and ideas that could be useful. And I was absolutely, irrevocably in love with her. There, I said it.

The Generals' annual visit messed with the routines of the palace, but somehow I found the time to actually talk with her in the middle of it all. There were meetings and some exquisite spying to be done, but no assassinating – for now. Of course, Ambrose could have decided to get rid of someone who was at his palace right then, but it was extremely rare. It wouldn't have been wise except in dire circumstances.

The day before the Commander's party I met her when she was going out, apparently to practice fighting with her friends. I rose from behind my desk and stopped her.

"So, you've managed to keep away from Brazell's soldiers. Did you know you have a bounty on your head?"

She looked at me surprised, and shook her head. "I didn't know that," she said. "Well, there is. And quite a substantial one, I figure. I suggest you keep to our suite as much as possible and don't look for any trouble. I don't want to have to train another taster on such a short notice. It's only for today," I added, seeing her devastated look.

"So, what have you been learning? More of the bow? You can tell Margg to clear off a section of the study and practice your moves there, if it helps you pass the time before the brandy meeting," I suggested, but she put her weapon down and shook her head.

"I'd rather not disturb her, since we're on a sort of truce already," she said with a sad little grin. "The less she sees of me, the more likely it is to keep that way. I think I'll just practice on the brandy some more."

"If you wish," I said. "I'm expected in a meeting in a few moments, and then I'll have to dig out the dress uniform and hope it's still wearable. Ugh. Such fun."

"Valek?" she said tentatively. "Do I have a specific dress code?"

"No, I don't think so. It's only us old warhorses who need to be seen at our best. You can put on a new uniform, if you want to, but it's not expected. Lucky you." I went on my way and thought with horror of the dress uniform. It was stiff and tight and hot and I already looked forward to the time I could strip it off.

So when I later that night came down to the study trying to loosen the collar to make it less uncomfortable, Yelena's positive reaction to me was surprising, to say the least. I could smell she had sampled the brandy bottles in my absence, but I didn't expect her to be already affected by it. I hoped I wouldn't have to carry her home from the party – that would be most awkward.

She had tied her hair back in the way she had done at the fire festival. It looked good on her, and I could see she had donned a new and crisp food taster's uniform. It also woke some memories in my mind, but I tried to ignore them as we walked towards the Commander's war room. She smelled faintly of brandy and lavender soap and I was very conscious of the tightness of my trousers.

All the while the Commander and his Generals tasted their brandies and discussed their Districts' problems and achievements, I concentrated on the two things that irritated me. There was a magic user in the room and I couldn't pinpoint him. He was a potential threat to the Commander and I couldn't do anything unless he acted in an obvious way. There were too many new aides and other people with the Generals, so I had to keep watch on several people at the same time and couldn't be sure which one it was. I should have told the Commander that the Generals could only bring one aide per person, but then they would have been furious... Ah well. The other thing was a more private one and could be ignored for a while, but I still couldn't wait to get to the privacy of my room to deal with the problem.

When the meeting ended, I almost had to help Yelena to her feet. She had dozed off for a good while during General Tesso's long-winded report, and honestly I couldn't blame her. What had kept me alert was the fact that our magician had used his powers then, just for a moment. And I still couldn't be sure who it was! I had noticed a good many things about the aides, though, and most of them disconcerting.

When we got to our suite, I was happy to shed off the worst of my uniform and make use of another person in this situation. Yelena was obviously quite tipsy, but I trusted she still had a working brain and could at least listen. And I always worked best when I could hear my own ideas spoken aloud.

She didn't seem as worried as I was about the magician, but then again she was quite drunk. She was even making advances to me, which was awkward considering how eagerly my body was responding to them. I could hardly wait to get back to my own room... but then this was the only chance I'd get to find out who the Commander's new successor would be. So after I had carried her to her bed and, regrettably, left, I slipped into my climbing gear and slid out from my balcony. 

Entering the Generals' rooms through the windows was easy. They only had guards at their suites' door and none thought they'd need any precautions in the Commander's palace. Finding the red envelopes with the code pieces was easy, too; I just had to get to their briefcases, open the envelopes and copy the letters, and then make the seals look unbroken. None of them had thought to actually hide the envelopes.

Only Brazell's letter gave me any trouble, and that wasn't his fault, for a change. He had taken his briefcase to his bedroom, and while I had my hand deep in the case, I heard a knock on the suite's door. I was in a dark corner, dressed and masked in black, so I just blended in as well as I could, and was actually relieved to hear the guard outside answer the door quite gruffly.

"No, he doesn't need anything. He's sleeping."  
"No, you don't need to. Tomorrow is early enough for that. Go away."  
"Oh, well. If it makes you go away. I'll put your note on his desk so he'll see it first." 

I couldn't hear who the guard was talking to because he yawned and scratched his unshaven chin loudly whenever he wasn't speaking, but then I heard the door close and the guard approached Brazell's bedroom. He carried a candle and a small paper note, and he only quietly checked if Brazell had woken. He seemed relieved he hadn't; apparently Brazell isn't pleasant when woken from well-deserved sleep. Then he put the paper on the desk – just next to me.

It took me a second after the guard had left to grab the note and stuff it into a pocket, and then concentrate on the envelope, and then I was out before I managed to find a reason for stealing a private note to General Brazell in the middle of a night. Later it turned out to be a very lucky decision indeed.

When I got back to my suite, it was nearly morning and I'd only have a few hours to piece the code together. Yelena had woken and didn't seem too hungover, so together we pieced out the Commander's successor. Who else than Brazell. Yelena was shocked, but my suspicions were confirmed. The Commander hadn't really been himself during these few weeks. Secretly I blamed the Criollo Brazell had been feeding him, but as usual I had no evidence.

Yelena went on to taste the Commander's breakfast and I went on with my duties, but all this fuss made me forget the note I'd taken from Brazell's desk until the late evening.

When I finally remembered it, it had been badly wrinkled and some of the ink had smeared. I recognized the handwriting immediately and therefore the words didn't make sense for a moment.

"You want Yelena back. I can sell her to you – for a prize. Leave a coin on this note if you agree. I'll contact you."

The handwriting was Margg's.

I hadn't authorized anything like this. Margg was one of the very few people we trusted, Ambrose and I; she had been one of the key people in the takeover of the King's palace. She knew most of our secrets – not all, oh no, but most. What had made her sell Yelena out? She had never hated any of the tasters so vehemently before.

And then I began to see the pattern. The betting on the fugitive catching business before the fire festival that I had blamed Yelena for; Margg must have leaked it out to the servants. All the little obstacles and accidents that seemed to fall on Yelena . All the soldiers after her who seemed to know exactly where to find her. Margg really had something against her, but she hadn't realized that I watched over Yelena. Margg would have to go. There would be other loyal people to do her work.

I would transfer her somewhere. She had no family, no friends (as far as I knew, and that was pretty far indeed) and no place to go except the palace – I had considered her safe. She had betrayed me, and I couldn't trust her any more.

Unfortunately the Commander's situation got worse, and I had no time to plan Margg's retirement. It was a relief to find that Yelena had picked the locks to my office so I could finally offer her full freedom – not in so many words, of course. And of course she declined. The only thing I needed to know of her and she still couldn't trust me. I was starting to believe it was something traumatic rather than sinister that kept her from trusting me, but until she did, my hands were tied and my curiosity unsatisfied. The least I could do was to ensure her survival in these circumstances.

The Sitian embassy arrived and thwarted my plans once again. I had hoped for some quiet time to plan Margg's exit from the palace properly, but the visit and especially the poisoning attempt almost made me forget her. I found out in the worst possible way that I didn't want to hear the words "My Love" from Yelena's lips. She did manage to survive the poison, but I don't know what I'd have done if she hadn't. I put all my energy into finding the assassin. And I wasn't surprised at all when I found good old "Captain" Star was behind him. And I also found out that Margg had her hand in the business, but I didn't tell anybody at the time.

But finally there was the Commander's trip to MD-5. Despite being a very risky and totally unrecommendable action, I could see one good thing coming from the trip. I called Margg to my office when the Commander had led his troops away from the palace. 

"So, the Commander is gone and so is most of his staff. Tell me, Margg, when have you last had a vacation?" I asked her.

She stared at me blankly. "I have all the festival days free and I can get a free day whenever I want," she answered dully. "Just like everybody else."

"Hmm. The serving personnel won’t be needed here, so I was thinking of granting everyone a travel permission. Where would you go if you could? The mountains in MD-3 are very beautiful this time of year," I prompted.

Her expression softened. "I used to have a friend in MD-3," she said. "I might see if I could find her again."

"That's settled, then," I said, filling out the travel permission and giving it to her. "You've served the Commander well. It's time to enjoy some of the fruits of that trust." She went, grasping the permission, and I quickly made some preparations of my own.

When she left the palace the next day she had a generous bundle of luncheon with her. I followed the road to MD-3 a couple of hours later, and I didn't need to go too far before I saw a familiar shape in the ditch by the road. I checked for vitals, removed all the objects she could be recognized by, and left her body there. I haven't told Yelena what I have done for her, but I might, some day. After all, in the end she did trust me enough to give me the answers I wanted – and more.


End file.
